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Friday, 6 September 2013

image for Man United target replacement for Wayne Rooney
Caption writers were unable to decide if this is Rooney or a dragon

Manchester United boss David Moyes is planning ahead to the next transfer window and has targeted a replacement for Wayne Rooney in the shape of David Mooney.

Mooney plays for Leyton Orient, so far top of League One with five wins from five. Mooney has scored 5 goals so far as Orient beat all before them...

Moyes denied that he is following the lead of Stuart Pearce, who as caretaker England coach, appointed Scott Parker as captain for the night because they share the same initials. "Mooney has the same DM initials as me - it is true - but if that was the only reason to sign him - you might deduce that my favourite newspaper is the Daily Mail, and no-one in the history of the world has said that ever"

Insiders actually believe Mooney is a target to replace Rooney as it would be easy to change Rooney to Mooney on unsold shirts in the club megastore.

Orient will target Gareth Bale as a replacement for Mooney, if Bale fails to settle in Madrid, he will be looking for the first easyjet flight back to Stansted in January (barring snow). Chairman Barry Hearn told reporters 'We have fans who work at Stansted who are ready to pick up Bale and drop him back to East London'. Hearn will tell Bale that the O's club logo is a welsh dragon (it's a actually a wyvern, but Bale will never know)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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