Scene of the crime Barclays. Tiger Woods who has only won 5 tournaments this year and no Majors, finished in 2nd place after nearly beating a field of the world's top professionals with back spasms that have stretched over the past 3 days. That is the equivalent of the average person attempting to play golf with one arm.
"Yes when the spasms hit it basically forces you to pay homage to your god and kiss good bye whatever it is you are doing at that moment," said chiropracter Joe Smith, of Smith, Smith, Smith & Sons Chiropractor's group, "We treat many of the pros for similar conditions, but when it happens there is little the player can do if they don't settle down. Tiger basically came close to kicking the ass of the worlds best with a 20 pound weight tied to his leg."
Reporters again lined up to skank the year Tiger has been having. NBCs Norman Cleaver said,"Awful! Simply bloody awful! He once again failed to win a Major, even though it was non-major event!" When pointed out this was literally impossible, Cleaver relented somewhat,"Weelll of course you can't expect him to win a Major at a Non-Major, but had it been a major, which it wasn't, he would have lost it!"