Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 7 August 2013

image for The New York Yankees Tell Their Fans That Anyone With An A-Rod #13 Shirt Can Return It For A Full Refund
A-Rod will be banned from entering Yankee Stadium until 2015.

NEW YORK CITY - The New York Yankees taking a page from the New England Patriots who told their fans that they could return Aaron Hernandez' #81 football jersey for a full refund are now doing the same with Alex Rodriguez's #13 baseball shirt.

Harry F. Sprintmint a spokesperson for the New York Yankees organization said that it is only fair to the fans who bought the shirt before the Yankee third baseman embarrassed himself, his family, the team, his fans, President and Mrs. Obama, and every decent, law abiding person in the country.

Rodriguez was suspended for 221 games and will not return until the 2015 season unless tests determine that he took some more PED's (Performance Enhancing Drugs) during his suspension.

One longtime Yankees fan identified as Melba Fritterfaust, 76, of Queens, stated that she was shocked that someone as good as Alex could put stuff into his body that could have been tainted with the DNA of half a dozen people or worse it could have all kinds of bacterial infestational germs.

Another fan Vinnie Crackatori, 77, of Brooklyn, stated that he not only wants the money he paid for the baseball shirt he also wants the money he spent on the admission tickets; which he said number 79 going back three years.

Yankee spokesperson Sprintmint said Mr. Crackatori will get reimbursed for the amount he paid for his shirt but as for getting reimbursed for 79 tickets he said Vinnie can kiss the great Bambino statue's ass.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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