Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 7 August 2013

image for A-Rod Remarks That His 221 Game Suspension Is Overkill
Alex said that he will probably spend most of his suspension time out on the golf course. (Photo courtesy of Tiger Woods).

NEW YORK CITY - The decision has finally come down and a total of 13 Major League Baseball players have been suspended for using PED's (Performance Enhancing Drugs).

New York Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez, 38, received the stiffest penalty. He will be suspended for 221 games and will not be allowed to return back to baseball until 2015.

A-Rod was found guilty of using PED's and trying to cover up the fact by trying to mask the odorous smell by rubbing balsamic vinegar on his elbows, earlobes, and groin region.

He was also found guilty of lying to Major League Baseball about his height and weight and the fact that he is addicted to David's Sunflower Seeds.

A-Rod spoke with Hercules Confetti of Sporting Chance Magazine and told him that the 221 game suspension is overkill.

He stated that a more fair penalty would have been to be suspended for 53 games with pay.

The PED's that A-Rod allegedly took came from a Miami anti-aging clinic named The Sssssh Clinic located next door to a Burger Bandit.

Alex told Sporting Chance Magazine that he was only following in the footsteps of some of his baseball idols including Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Rafael Palmeiro.

SIDENOTE: The Sssssh Clinic is alleged to have provided the illicit drugs to the 13 players including 4 hot dog vendors, and one team mascot, who asked that his nickname not be mentioned.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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