English Premier League (EPL) side Totting-ham Hot-sports have pleaded with La Liga giants Real Madrid to pay cash up front for Gareth Bale, the hottest footballer ever to leave Wales, (a tiny island the size of Wales on the side of England)
North Londonshire based Totting-sham have earmarked the cash for cloning all of the best football players they own - ie just Gareth Bale.
A club insider told the spoof sports team "The money will fund research into cloning - a bloke who runs a market stall outside Wembley Stadium on a sunday morning has told our chairman Dan Sleevy he can clone any footballer in the UK - but he needs money for parts and medicine. Sleevy is all systems go to employ the part-time wheeler dealer part time scientist, but there is a problem. Once Bale is sold to Madrid he can't be cloned - so we need the money first before we sell Bale. Its CATCH 22"
A spokesman for the club refused to confirm the story, but did deny that the spurs are looking into plastic surgery to mould Jermaine Jenas into a Gareth Bale lookalike.