Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 29 July 2013

image for The High-Flying St. Louis Cardinals Are Thinking About Changing Their Name
President Bush being honored by the Cardinals organization for being the president with the most baseball knowledge.

ST. LOUIS - The St. Louis Cardinals presently possess the best record in the entire Major Leagues with a record of 62-40.

Outfielder Matt Holliday, who is the highest paid player on the team at $16 million per year, says that he is as happy as a kangaroo on a trampoline.

But there are rumblings among the team's board of directors about fans pressing them to change the team name.

Team spokesperson Rothschild M. Lowengarden, 51, informed the sports media that the reason why a lot of the fans are upset is because they want the St. Louis team to have their own identity and not have a name that is shared by another professional sports team.

As sports fans everywhere know, the National Football League team from Phoenix also uses the name Cardinals.

This is not the first time the matter of changing the Cardinals name has come up.

Three years ago The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company of Kalamazoo, Michigan conducted an extensive study to see what percentage of St. Louis Cardinals baseball fans actually favored a name change.

GUPOPC spokesperson Prescott Tippecanoe pointed out that 64 percent of all Cardinals fans wanted a name change. Thirty-one percent said they wanted to keep the name and five percent said they did not care because if their name was the Doodlebugs they would still be just as good.

SIDENOTE: Mr. Lowengarden has stated that the St. Louis Cardinals organization will look long and hard into the matter and do what is best for the team, the owners, the managers, the coaches, the players, the fans, and even the hot dog vendors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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