Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 26 July 2013

image for Dwyane Wade May Leave The Miami Heat For The Los Angeles Lakers
Part of the $5 million that Dwyane Wade will pay his ex-wife in their divorce settlement.

MIAMI - Dwyane Wade says that he is thrilled that he has finally gotten the divorce mess behind him.

Wade spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily at a Miami Burger Bandit and told him that the stress from his ex-wife Siohvaughn has really taken a toll on him physically, mentally, emotionally, and even geographically.

The Miami Heat player stated that it is worth the $5 million he will have to pay his ex-wife to have all of that marital BS behind him.

Part of the divorce settlement stipulates that his ex-wife is never to talk to him, text him, or even mention his name.

The judge in the case ruled that any violation on her part will result in a fine of $45,000.

Wade confessed to Reno that he is ecstatic about getting to start over and hopes to one day meet a nice, kind, caring, bosomy woman who will love him for reasons other than the fact that he is one amazingly rich fantastic basketball player.

He went on to tell Reno that he would now like to be traded to the Los Angeles Lakes so that he can leave Miami and all of the bitter marital memories behind him.

SIDENOTE: Word out of L.A. is that when Kobe Bryant heard about Dwyane wanting to join the Lakers he was having lunch with his wife and kids at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Beverly Hills and he got up from his table and did five somersaults from the sheer joy of the thought of having Wade on his team.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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