Written by Backandtotheleft
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Friday, 19 July 2013

New Manchester City coach Manuel Pellegrini used his first press conference to insist that he is here for the long term.

"I intend to impose a certain playing style on City, through my methods and ideas we will-"

Manuel was cut off as a burly aide whispered something in his ear and without a word of warning he left. Seconds later the door opened and Ex-Brazil coach Dunga was ushered in wearing a Manchester City top.

He began:

"I am delighted to be given the honour of coaching Manchester City despite my failure to win the world cup with Brazil-"

A trapdoor opened under Dunga's chair and wordlessly he slipped into the basement. From the ceiling Jupp Heynckes was deployed but before he could speak a giant broom appeared and swept him out of the room. And a man on a motorcycle leapt through the window. The man, Marcello Lippi, dodged numerous questions and P45's as he tried to stay employed for the duration of the press conference. He finished by confirming his desire to waste as much of the Arabs money as he possibly could in the short space of time he was to be employed. Just as he was about take his first training session he was airlifted off the pitch by a helicopter and rope.

Back and to the Left news asked sheik Mansour for a comment on the latest managerial merry go round and surprisingly he agreed to give us a comment. Despite the fact we had spent the morning making up anti Samir Nasri songs. The Sheik said:

"We are looking to bring a period of stability and continuation to the club. We are looking for a manager who reflects the modern day needs of a top European football club."

"Who's that then?" We asked.

"Manchester City."

We were removed because our laughter was reminding the players who they were playing for.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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