Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 9 July 2013

image for Charles Barkley Tells Shaquille O'Neal To Shut Up About Dwight Howard
An extreme close up photo of Charles "The Fat Bro" Barkley. (Photo courtesy of Omarosa).

MOBILE, Alabama - Charles Barkley traveled down to Mobile to visit some kinfolk whom he hadn't seen in a month of Sundays [i.e. 7 months and 2 weeks].

While he was down there he was asked by Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily what he thought about Dwight Howard leaving the Los Angeles Lakers and going over to the Houston Rockets.

Sir Charles, as England's Queen Elizabeth has dubbed him, replied that he was glad to see Dwight get away from Kobe Bryant.

The man also known as The Fat Bro, remarked that there is only room for one ball hog on the Lakers team and that is Kobe "Vino" Bryant.

Barkley was then asked about the comment Shaquille O'Neal made that Howard just could not handle the bright lights of Tinsel Town.

He took a drink of his Tequila Sunrise and said that he likes Shaq but that sometimes the human volcano lets his mouth write a check that his fat butt can't cash.

Charles wondered if Shaq the Brick Tosser, has already forgotten that Kobe ran him out of town when he told L.A. Lakers owner Jerry Buss that either he traded O'Neal or he (Kobe) would go to the San Antonio Spurs.

After about six more Tequila Sunrise's Chuck, as Michelle Obama refers to him, told Reno to be sure and write that he said that Shaquille O'Neal needs to shut up about Dwight Howard and he really needs to spend about an hour each day practicing his free throws.

SIDENOTE: Reno revealed that Shaquille O'Neal had the worst free throw shooting percentage of any player in the NBA. He then noted that Kobe Bryant once remarked that 91-year-old Betty White could make more free throws than him.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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