Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Aaron Hernandez

Sunday, 7 July 2013

NFL testing results for Aaron Hernandez have been leaked. To no one's surprise, the Patriots bought a pig in a pokey when they drafted him.

He is not dumb as a rock, but when your un-cashed paycheck is discovered at your "flop house," you make a case for bad judgment.

Hernandez's Wonderlic (which measures reasoning, not intelligence) was at the bottom rung, surprising because most players who handle the ball score higher.

The accused multiple-murderer seemed to have mental agility on a high level, given his trust of his own quickness in thought. Alas, his maturity level bottomed out among the levels you expect to find with a petulant child.

If you want to sit on your high and mighty steed and scoff at Hernandez, you need only look at the Wonderlic of the New England Patriots who claim to have taken a chance (and lost).

We might say reasonable teams chose not to bet on a sure-loser. You may want to argue that in today's society young men are immature until 40 or 50, like most of the defenders of Hernandez.

The Patriots continue to show bad judgment with their so-called jersey exchange. If you bought a Hernandez Patriots shirt, you may go to hot Gillette during a heat wave and exchange it for some other player, like the dumb Gronk.

Fans with low Wonderlic scores are calling this a wonderful gesture by the Patriots to separate themselves from Hernandez.

The bottom line is that the NFL does not want a bunch of fans showing up at games in a Hernandez jersey come this fall when the former NFL player is on trial. It just might be construed as a provocation for in-stand fighting among fans whose Wonderlic score is lower than Aaron Hernandez.

Some astute defense lawyer may also call the act prejudicial to the case. All in all, the dopes seem to be succeeding despite having low scores in maturity and reasoning skills.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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