Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 27 June 2013

image for Aaron Hernandez of The New England Patriots Arrested - Gisele Bundchen Is Furious
Aaron Hernandez has just kissed away a five year contract that would have paid him $8 million per year.

NORTH ATTLEBORO, Massachusetts - Well like the saying goes, You can run but you can't hide. Police have arrested Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez and charged him with suspicion of murder.

Hernandez told Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that he was arrested simply because he is covered with all kinds of tattoos and it makes him look like a low-life carnival worker who is guilty of something.

He said that he tried to hire famed California attorney Gloria Allred but she declined saying, "Thanks, but no thanks."

A phone call to the New England Patriots front office was made by Reno and he said that he was told that Mr. Hernandez has just been released from the team and is no longer a member of the Pats.

Coach Bill Belichick was asked if he had any comment other that the one from yesterday which was "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!"

He shook his head, shrugged his shoulders, scratched his groin region, and replied, "No, and not just no but HELL NO!"

Reno then called up Patriots quarterback Tom Brady to get a comment from him. His wife Gisele Bundchen answered his phone and said that Tom could not come to the phone because he was crying too much.

She was asked to make a comment on Hernandez being terminated from the team.

Bundchen started cussing and yelling and saying that she feels that team owner Robert Kraft acted too quickly.

She said that he could have worked out some kind of deal with the authorities where Aaron could be released from prison on Sundays so that he could play the game and then be immediately sent back to prison after the game.

Gisele then said that with receiver Wes Welker now playing for the Denver Broncos, receiver Aaron Hernandez soon to be playing for the prison football team, and receiver Rob Gronkowski already with 5 operations, she may have to suit up and have her hubby quarterback Tom Brady throw some passes at her.

SIDENOTE: Reports are that an official Aaron Hernandez New England Patriots #81 football jersey has just dropped in price down to 25¢.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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