Written by Glen D. Campbell
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Wednesday, 26 June 2013

image for Olympian Gives Birth On Trampoline

A Russian gymnast, in training for the upcoming Olympic Games, went into labour on a trampoline yesterday giving birth to a bouncing baby boy.

Unaware that she was pregnant, Elena Kulakov had been carrying on with her demanding training regime in preparation for the summer games, where she is to compete in the trampoline events, and was in the middle of her tumbling drills when her labour pains began. Her coach, Ivan Stankovic, at that moment sprang into action and somersaulted up onto the trampoline and was able to deliver the newborn.

"I was as surprised as everyone else," said Stankovic. "Of course I had noticed that she had gained some mass over the past few months, but I simply attributed that to the steroids I'd been slipping into her protein drinks."

When asked if the birth will put into question Kulakov's ability to compete at the upcoming Olympic Games Stankovic replied, "Not at all. Gymnastics is very important in Russia; Putin loves the sport and is a particularly good flip-flopper. Elena knows how important it is to Russia that she goes to the Olympics and wins a medal for me. That is why she was back in training only seconds after I had cut the umbilical cord with my sickle."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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