Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 19 May 2013

image for David Beckham Retires - Says He Will Appear On Next Season's Dancing With The Stars
David Beckham will be making the rounds of several U.S. talk shows. (Photo courtesy of Queen Elizabeth).

NEW YORK CITY - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily has announced that soccer star David Beckham has retired.

Beckham played his last game with Paris Saint Germains and was on the winning side as PSG defeated Brest 3-1.

The 38-year-old said that he knew it was time to retire when he realized that kicking the soccer ball was no longer as much fun as when he first started doing it 20 years ago.

David told reporter Neville Twickenbuck with Tickety Boo News that his wife former Spice Girl, Victoria Beckham had also asked him to hang up his shorts and return to their $22 million Beverly Hills mansion.

Beckham was asked what he planned on doing upon returning to America. He smiled as he took a bite out of his Boysenberry Crumpet and said that next week he will be making the rounds of several talk shows including Live With Kelly and Michael, Piers Morgan Tonight, and The Viagra View.

After that he will be meeting with the producers of Dancing With The Stars as well as with his fellow Englishman Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman, where he will sign a contract to appear on next season's edition of the dancing show.

SIDENOTE: David let Twickenbuck know that he and his wife Victoria have been invited to a White House Memorial Day Barbecue in honor of one of President Obama's top unofficial advisers Oprah Winfrey.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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