LOS ANGELES - Kobe Bryant who missed the first round of the Los Angeles Lakers NBA playoffs because his foot was hurt now says that his mama has bruised the hell out of his ego.
Bryant is madder than a woodpecker in Antarctica because his mother has decided to auction off some of his sports mementoes.
Kobe's mama, Miss Pamela, said that she told her son to come and get his basketball memorabilia, keepsakes, and relics or she would toss them out along with the everyday trash.
After she got no response from her [SARCASM ALERT] kind, compassionate, caring son she contacted an auction group and made arrangements to sell everything since as she put it, the boy (Kobe)done went and abandoned his (stuff).
Miss Pamela contacted Sports Stuff Auctions 'R' Us and made arrangements to auction off her heartless son's abandoned items.
Sports memorabilia appraiser Murdoch "Moneysmell" Baconbaker happily informed Miss Pammy, that the 903 items could easily be sold for a total of $1.5 million at the very least.
Miss Pammy got so excited that she started jumping up and down in her kitchen and her bloomers accidentally fell to her ankles. She apologized to Mr. Baconbaker who smiled and said that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Kobe "Mr. Greedy Britches" Bryant has hired famed California attorney Ginger Allred and he has filed a lawsuit against his own mother...his OWN mother - what a pitiful, pathetic, little weenie!
Mrs. Bryant has hired the Brooklyn law firm of Fitzowitz, Straydiddle, & Goldenbocker, who recently won a $29.1 million settlement in the case of New York State Vs. The Yak Yak Telemarketing Agency of Karachi, Pakistan.