Miami Heat fans are naturally incensed and hot under the collar because some unknown sports expert and insider chose to NOT vote for LeBron James as the NBA MVP of 2012-13.
This was the fourth time LeBron has won the award, putting him in elite company-but naysayers wonder who had the gumption and grit to deny LeBron his unanimity vote.
Hot on the trail, we immediately called up a list of suspects, and discovered 95% lived in Cleveland.
Using the best profiling techniques employed by the Miami Police Department, we immediately narrowed down the list of culprits to trolls living under bridges and members of the fae community, including Celtic leprechauns.
A few outliers were discovered living on a Tibetan mountain in a lamasery near Shangri-La (where LeBron James is not considered old enough to be treated with respect.
Upon drawing the noose tighter, we tried to discern if relatives of Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony, or Kevin Durant were eligible to vote, but this proved as elusive as finding a championship ring in a box of Honey Nut Cheerios.
Consulting the two rovers on Mars was fruitless, though we suspect the lone voter could be from another world. He was proving as elusive as someone on the grassy knoll in Dallas.
We felt more uncomfortable as the dragnet seemed to encircle satiric writers with whimsical hostility to b-ballers with a royalty fixation like King James.
Too close for comfort, we decided to end our quest to name the culprit and quickly jumped the queue to praise LeBron with our best Hosannah on high!