Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 4 May 2013

image for Sad, Sad, Sad - Kobe Bryant Suing His Own Mother
Kobe's mom has three of Kobe's high school basketballs which are reportedly worth $17,000 each.

TRENTON, New Jersey - Kobe "Vino" Bryant may scream, holler, and yell at his Laker teammates Pau Gasol, Metta World Peace, and Dwight Howard, but his mama, Pamela Bryant says she will not stand for him hollering at her and she has made it abundantly clear to Mr. Los Angeles Laker.

Mrs. Bryant, who resides in Trenton, New Jersey, with a pet flamingo named Pinky, like many mothers let her son know that he has a lot of his sports mementos still at her house and she asked him if he intended to pick them up or what.

According to Sporting Chance Magazine, Kobe, 34, emailed her and told her that he did not want the items and stated that she could have them.

Well 97 percent of all American moms would have simply tossed the items in the trash can, but not Kobe's mom. Pamela Bryant says that she may be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them.

She said that she knew that those mementos had some monetary value simply because they belong to one of the greatest basketball players of all time.

So she contacted a group known as Sports Stuff Auctions 'R' Us and set up a deal to auction off the entire group of items which she said numbered 903.

Some of the mementos included three rookie Laker cards, a Kobe Bryant commemorative lunch box, three basketballs that Kobe had borrowed from his high school coach, a pair of high school basketball shorts that Kobe had autographed and given to a girlfriend who returned them when the two broke up, and lots of other things of value.

Mrs. Bryant was told by noted sports memorabilia appraiser Murdoch "Moneysmell" Baconbaker, that the total of all of the items was at least $1.51 million.

After yelling out about half a dozen Hallelujahs, she immediately rented a security storage unit and had all 903 items transferred into the storage unit for safe keeping.

And now Kobe has told him mom that he wants all 903 items which he says rightfully belong to him.

His mom told him that she'll give them to him when a Costa Rican space ship lands on the sun.

A tremendously upset Kobe told his mom that he has hired the legal services of noted California attorney Ginger Allred and he will get all 903 items back plus he'll sue her for Habeas Stressino Cacciatore.

Pamela Bryant repied to her greedy-as-hell son, that she has hired the Brooklyn law firm of Fitzowitz, Straydiddle, & Goldenbocker and unlike his teammate Dwight Howard she won't quit if the going gets rough.

SIDENOTE: Kobe Bean Bryant is worth $200 million!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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