Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 4 May 2013

image for Phil Jackson Tells The Lakers Thanks But No Thanks
Phil Jackson flew to Detroit to see about purchasing this classic 1950s Ford.

DETROIT - Phil Jackson flew into the Motor City to check on purchasing a 1957 Chevrolet that he has been wanting for the past seven years.

While in Motown he was asked if he would take the Lakers head coaching job if it was offered to him.

Jackson, ever the zenmaster replied with an alas reply of "Nopers."

He then added thanks but no thanks. He pointed out that since he is now engaged to marry Jeanie Buss, one of the Laker owners he could have the coach's job quicker than an Amarillo auctioneer can say "Sold!"

Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily asked him why he would not take the job. Phil looked at him like a Texas steer staring at a ranch gate and said that the reason is a very simple one - he just loves winning.

He pointed out that with the state of total disarray that the Lakers are in right now, winning is just not going to be happening very much for the next couple of years at least.

Reno asked if it was kind of like the Captain of the Titanic telling the second mate, "Tag you're the captain now" after the ship hit that infamous iceberg.

Jackson paused for a moment, grinned from ear-to-ear, and simply said, "BINGO!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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