Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 3 May 2013

image for Washington Nationals Fans Vow To Do Away With The Wave
The chairman of The Anti-Wave Alliance has vowed to get the wave banned from Washington Nationals baseball games.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The management of the Major League Baseball Washington Nationals has been approached by a group calling itself The Anti-Wave Alliance.

The alliance chairman Abner "Spitball" Dinkinbrewski, 27, told the Nationals organization that his group is sick and tired of going to games and having the game distracted by unruly fans who still continue on participating in the worn-out, hackneyed wave antic.

Dinkinbrewski said that just in the last three games that he has attended he has had someone during the course of the wave knock over three of his beers, two boxes of popcorn, a bag of Cracker Jacks, and two wieners out of his hot dog buns.

He also remarked that his wife had her $87 hairdo messed up when a little 93-year-old woman who was sitting next to her fell on top of her due to a young wave enthusiast accidentally knocking her off her feet.

The Washington Nationals organization has promised that they will look into the matter and perhaps try to reach some kind of compromise where the fans who want to participate in the wave can do so in an orderly fashion while sitting down.

SIDENOTE: Abner Dinkinbrewski has said that this compromise is unacceptable and that he and his Anti-Wave Alliance will consider some kind of means of counteracting this outdated fad. When asked in what way he replied that they may counter the wave with a full moon display.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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