Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 23 April 2013

image for Shaquille O'Neal Says The L.A. Lakers Will Be The First NBA Team With A Female Player
Shaq predicts a woman will soon be playing in the NBA. (Photo Courtesy of Jack Nicholson).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Shaquille O'Neal recently had dinner with his former Lakers coach Phil "The Zenmaster" Jackson at The Giggling Guacamole Restaurant in West Hollywood.

O'Neal reminded Jackson that he and not Kobe Bryant helped to put the Lakers on the NBA map.

Jackson reportedly agreed with Shaq and expressed the fact that they both know it but that if Kobe were to find out he would most certainly go into his pout mode and probably start tweeting like crazy.

Shaq then told his old coach that he feels that within three years the NBA will see the first female player.

Jackson put down his glass of 1996 Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon ($2,249), shook his head, and said "No way José."

O'Neal reminded him that his name was Shaq and not José. He then told him that the first woman in the NBA will be playing for the Lakers.

"What makes you think that?" Jackson asked.

Shaquille replied that the Lakers are from the Left Coast and as everyone knows the LC is a very liberal place where Democrats outnumber Republicans by a 13 to 1 ratio.

He then grinned as he informed Jackson that the Lakers already have the NBA's first player-coach in Kobe, the first player-cheerleader in Kobe, and the first executive tweeter in Kobe.

Phil smiled and gave Shaq a high five as he told him that he could not argue with him on any of those three points.

In News From Mexico - The Republic of Mexico has just announced that due to the worm shortage, bottles of Mescal Tequila will not have the customary worm at the bottom of the bottle. A spokesperson said that instead the bottles will contain a fake worm made out of pewter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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