Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 22 April 2013

image for Luis Suarez did not bite that man, it was a French kiss Uruguayan style!
Luis will not be bearing these on the soccer field again!

English soccer, the Tabloids and Liverpool FC, plus others, are in uproar over the strange behaviour of star goal-getter Luis Suarez. He was caught on camera attempting to bite Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic, but the camera does tell lies sometimes and Luis is claiming it was not a bite at all.

In fact it was completely the opposite; he was only attempting to give Ivanovic a "French Kiss" Uruguayan style! Luis also claims it is a mark of respect when a defender has had such a good game in Uruguay, especially against him, and a "French Kiss" on the elbow is the ultimate sign of respect.

Admittedly, there is a slight problem with Luis's kissing style; it's his buck teeth and his wife has also backed up his claim because she's full of marks and holes in her tongue!

A Dutch double interpreter from Argentina (no relation) was called in to translate the situation and the English FA accept the fact that Luis did not attempt to "Mike Tyson" Branislav and in the future he will wear a pitbull mask during games.

Chelsea claim it is a load of old South American Bullspit... more as we extract Luis's teeth!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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