Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 20 April 2013

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A Millwall fan challenges Janine Butcher over her failed career

Fans of Millwall FC, in trouble recently for fighting amongst themselves at Wembley Stadium, have announced that they have split, not into two warring factions, but three.

The FA Cup semi-final tie against Wigan Athletic was noteworthy, largely, for the actions of the Lions' fans who began scrapping with each other over an argument over an episode of the BBC soap, Eastenders, screened last week which included the return of slapper Janine Butcher, played by Charlie Brooks.

Janine, the murderer of Barry Evans in Scotland in 2004, has decided the return to the show after failing miserably to develop her acting career outside of the East End. She has recently been working in Billingsgate Fish Market.

Anyway, back to the Millwall story.

One set of fans claimed that Janine was, as her own step-mother, Pat Butcher had asserted, "evil", whilst their opponents said that the whole affair was an accident, with the unfortunate Barry having banged his head against a rock during a hillside tumble. Tempers flared, and a ruckus ensued.

Now, however, a third group of fans has emerged with the view that Eastenders, as a whole, is a complete pile of shit, and police are tonight preparing for a pitched battle on three fronts when the Lions meet Blackburn Rovers at The Den on Tuesday, just after the latest episode of the dull BBC soap.

A spokesthug for the third group said:

"You cants!"

You can view the latest episode of Eastenders on BBC iPlayer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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