Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: PGA

Sunday, 14 April 2013

The PGA at the Masters now must shorten its name to PG after a 14 year-old Chinese Wunderkind has taken the course by storm.

Tianlang Guan, quite the fashionplate among the dowdy older men playing, has struck more excitement into the game than another round of Tiger Woods tales.

So, it came as a shock when the PG-A assessed young Guan with a penalty. Now, for most 14 year olds, this entails being grounded, or losing his tweeting privileges for a day, but the PGA decided to levy a stroke onto the back of the game's new prince. The price was not right.

Unfortunately this was not one of those wet noodle strokes, but a stroke added to his daily score. This one hurt. It seems the PGA is on the verge of child abuse.

Fortunately no one sent young Guan to a priest for absolution, but John Paramor (the judge who hanged Guan) was no lover of the game. He accused the young man of slowing down the game.

Assessing Guan a bogey may cost him more than any face-saving gesture. One of the older gamers, Ben Crenshaw, was muttering that the PGA was on the verge of an international incident with its high-handed treatment of a guest player who represents the future of the sport.

Not since the Mikado mistreated Yum-Yum has there been such a blatant act of punishment upon the innocent kid trying to learn the ropes.

For his part Guan was gracious, accepting a loss of a week's allowance and promising to drive the putter with more alacrity next time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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