Written by Ossurworld
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Friday, 12 April 2013

Alonzo Dennard, wayward boy of the New England Patriots, has been sentenced to serve thirty days in Nebraska at Boys Town Prison.

Since he usually spends his time at Father Bill Belichick's home for wayward youth, this will be a piece of cake.

Dennard may end up running for Mayor of Boys Town Prison, just like Mickey Rooney in the old movie.

Father Belichick contends there is no such thing as a bad boy, and he brings them into his camp at Foxboro every season to show the world how charitable he is.

His ability to transform the delinquents of the NFL into solid citizens is well known. Last season alone he took in Donte Stallworth and Taliq Aqib and showed that the spirit of goodwill to men goes a long way.

Now Belichick will scour the draft lists for the boys who have violated curfew and smoked a weed or two as his latest projects.

When Aaron Hernandez was caught with his pants down and his pockets full of medical marijuana, he fell drastically in the draft until kindly old Bill Belichick rescued him.

Alonzo Dennard will leave Boys Town Prison in Nebraska a wiser man, fully enrolled in the program designed by the master of reforming youths. Belichick's Grand Plan may be to complete his roster with every miscreant he can find during Draft Day.

Those goody-two-shoes like Wes Welker and Patrick Chung can take their sweet demeanor elsewhere. Father Bill is looking for the dregs of society.

And, in the NFL, they are under every rock.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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