Written by CaptainSausage
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Topics: Hull, Boat Race

Sunday, 31 March 2013

image for Boat race won by Hull
To Hull and back

There was a sporting shock today, when this year's Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race was surprisingly won by rank outsiders Hull, who until today had never even competed before.

The race between the two top British universities began in 1832 when a dog ate a set of exam papers due to be sent out to students at both institutions. Since the absent-minded professor in charge could not remember the questions he had written, he decided that instead of setting new ones, students would compete in a rowing race to see who would graduate that year. The contest has continued to this day, and winning the race is still the easiest way to gain a degree at either university.

Hull entered after checking the rules, which do not specify that competitors must be students at Oxford or Cambridge. Among protests from the two other crews, they were able to establish an early lead and maintain it all the way through to the end.

Following tradition, the winning Hull team tossed their cox into the water at the finishing post to celebrate their victory in the wettest and most innuendoed way possible.

Rival students in neighbouring Grimsby have vowed to enter the race next year to prevent a repeat Hull win.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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