Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 1 April 2013

image for Charles Barkley Blames The Laker Woes On The Curse of Shaquille
Back in 2004, Shaq was given this magic voodoo stick by Louisiana voodoo woman Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette.

LOS ANGELES - Charles Barkley has said that the current Laker woes are a direct result of The Curse of Shaquille.

"Fat Bro" Barkley, as Vice-President Joe Biden calls him, said that Shaquille O'Neal stated back in 2004, when the Lakers traded him that the trade would one day come back to haunt them.

And as O'Neal mentioned to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, it took nine years but the curse has arrived and it will keep Kobe and the Lakers from making the playoffs.

Barkley, AKA The Big Mouth of The South commented that back in the summer of 2004, Kobe was a free agent and he disliked Shaq so much that he told the Laker ownership that if they did not trade the Big Fella that he (Kobe) would not remain with the Lakers.

So voila, like magic, O'Neal was traded to The Miami Heat.

Kobe would later throw his weight around and insist that his locker room towels be imported from Italy.

He also made it clear to the Lakers organization that if he wanted to have a hot dog while sitting on the bench during a game that he would be allowed to do so.

Bryant even insisted that the Laker Girl cheerleaders learn several cheers where Kobe's name would be used exclusively in the cheer.

SIDENOTE: Kobe asked for a lot of things from the Lakers management and they provided it to him without question. But as Shaquille O'Neal stated with the biggest grin imaginable not even King Kobe can ask to make it to the playoffs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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