Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 26 March 2013

image for Wayne Rooney confirmed with rabies in Montenegro!
Rooney has rabies, but promises not to lose his head!

Wayne Rooney has been diagnosed with rabies after foaming at the mouth during a training session before tonights very important game against Montenegro.

A stray dog was warming up when it suddenly took a bit out of Rooney's rear end and thinking nothing of it, Wayne soldiered on until he started frothing after a tackle with hated Liverpool rival, Stephen Gerrard. Doctors raced on to the pitch and confirmed that Wayne had rabies, but will be fit to play this evening as long as he doesn't start biting the legs of his opponents like he did in a previous encounter in the very same stadium.

FIFA have allowed Wayne to play as long as he wears a mouth restrainer and a local pitbull offered his. The Montenegro players are not worried about Wayne "losing his head" during the game; after all he paid 10000 quid for his recent hairdo and isn't about to throw into their mud!

The dog who bit Wayne was last seen entering the Montenegro team bus with its tail wagging and it seems that it licked several player's cheeks without any side-effects. Also, a neutral observer saw the team manager stroking its head and sticking a roll of Montenegro bank notes in its collar; worthless to Brits, but worth a lot on the streets of Podgorica when a ugly mongrel is hungry for a big bitch!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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