Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 18 March 2013

image for Kobeless Lakers Beat The Sacramento Kings
Jack Nicholson, the Lakers number one fan can be seen in the front row smiling from ear-to-ear.

LOS ANGELES - The Lakers were without their player-coach Kobe Bryant for the first time this year, but it did not matter as they defeated the Sacramento Kings 113-102.

Kobe told Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that while he is hurt he will become the greatest cheerleader in the history of professional sports.

And while "El Vino" Bryant may not be able to do the splits, or at least not as good as the Laker girls, he does have a voice that resonates throughout the entire Staples Center.

Kobe smiled as he said that it had been a long time since he had held a pair of pom poms in his hands.

He then noted that he would be willing to put his rah rah rahing and his sis boom bahing up against any cheerleader in the entire NBA.

Even basketball commissioner David "The Munchkin" Stern noted that Kobe looks good with a megaphone in his hand.

Metta World Peace giggled as he added that Kobe is actually prettier than two of the Laker cheerleaders.

In Other News. Political Salad Bar Magazine is reporting that there is a petition presently circulating that demands that Sarah "Reindeer Balls" Palin leave the Lower 48 states and return to her home in Wasilla, Alaska and never again set foot in the Continental United States. A source reports that so far the petition has 12,791,413 signatures.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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