Written by Ossurworld
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 18 March 2013

The curse of Ochocinco lingers in Foxboro with the New England Patriots.

Yes, after a lackluster season, the new '85', Brandon Lloyd, found his $3million bonus in a locked room- and the Patriots confiscated his key.

Released, Lloyd has no claim on the prize money. He certainly did better than Chad Johnson, the Ochocinco brand on his back for two years. The first Ocho collected big bucks for little performance.

Brandon Lloyd may have been advised upon coming to the Patriots that megastar Tom Brady had an aversion to the number '85'. Perhaps Josh McDaniels and Lloyd thought they could perform some aversion therapy on Tom.

Brandon was a handpicked Chippendale of choreographer Josh McDaniels, but he caught only 74 passes, about 60 more than Ocho. He could read the playbook and seemingly understood the complexities of Brady's scan and pan technique.

Alas, all the training appeared to fail during the season when Lloyd caught only a few important balls and showed a propensity to collapse upon the mark where he managed to hold onto the football.

Worse, reports circulated in the post-season that Brandon was unlike Chad Johnson in the locker room. Vivacious, amusing, and at least a diversion, Ochocinco was at best worth a smile.

Brandon Lloyd started to evolve into Rajon Rondo, not the best role model in Boston.

Now that Number '83' is free for the taking, we expect that no one will be forced to don the downtrodden '85.'

Any receiver with gold dust in his eyes and big money on his mind will avoid following in the footsteps of Chad Ochocinco and Brandon Lloyd.

Make Ossurworld's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 2?

6 16 10 22
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top