Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 14 March 2013

image for Danica Patrick Says She's Looking For The Checkered Flag To Race Into Marriage
Danica says that she hopes to race at the infamous Tijuana Auto Racetrack some time this summer. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

TULSA, Oklahoma - NASCAR driver Danica Patrick was visiting friends in Tulsa when she was asked by a reporter if she is ready to enter into her second marriage.

Danica replied that she is more than ready and she has already purchased 15 boxes of rice.

The 30-year-old slender brunette has recently been linked with such males as Derek Hough, Russell Brand, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

But she admitted to Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket that she has recently had a steak of bad luck which included crashing into the wall on March 3, in Phoenix, getting hit with a rock in Las Vegas, and having Kora the Kangaroo pee on her ankle when she was visiting The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana.

She laughed as she said that it's a sign from the Grand Sage of The Oval Race Track that it is time for her to make plans to get hitched (married) again.

When asked who she sees as the groom on top of her wedding cake she blushed and replied that the man of her dreams is fellow race car driver Ricky "Slicky" Stenhouse, Jr.

She volunteered that Ricky and her have so much in common such as a love for Paul Rudd movies, a constant craving for fajita tacos from Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos, and a desire to one day travel from New York City to Los Angeles while in reverse gear.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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