Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 11 March 2013

image for Charles Barkley Disses The Lakers
Charles "The Michelin Brutha" Barkley says that he plans on selling his Kobe Bryant autographed basketball on eBay.

ATLANTA - Charles Barkley has been known to put his foot in his mouth more times than Sarah Palin, Paul Ryan, John Boehner, and the San Francisco 49ers all put together.

But his latest venomous rant has the Los Angeles Laker fans fuming. Barkley was asked by Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily if he thought that the boys in purple and gold will make the playoffs now that they are playing .500 ball.

The pumpkin-faced Alabama fella remarked, "Well ta tellya da troot Ruffy. Da Lakers have about as much chance of making it to da playoffs as I do of stealing Beyonce away from Jay-Z."

Barkley further noted that right now Kobe (Bryant) has pretty much taken over the cheerleading duties from the Laker girls and he is doing everything but the splits.

Sir Charles, as he arrogantly calls himself, remarked that the only way that the Lakers could possibly make the playoffs is if Phil Jackson takes over and starts making his infamous Jacksonite threats.

Jackson once got so mad at former Laker Luke Walton that during the fourth quarter of a game he made him go sit up in the fifth row.

Walton really looked silly as hell sitting there wearing his Lakers uniform. Jackson got extremely incensed when he glanced up and saw Luke eating a hot dog.

Phil called a time out, walked up to Luke, and told him to toss the hot dog in a trash bin and move up to the 10th row.

SIDENOTE: Former Laker great Shaquille O'Neal says that he wholeheartedly agrees with Fat Boy Barkley and knows that sooner or later Kobe "Vino" Bryant is going to implode once the team starts losing again, and he will revert to telling his teammates that he is going to start kicking some butt in the locker room.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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