Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Tom Brady

Thursday, 28 February 2013

Baltimore Raven Terrell Suggs, charter member of the Tom Brady Fan Club, provided his usual insights this week by claiming everyone hates the New England Patriots.

He means every other team in the league. He referred to the Patriots as 'arrogant' male genitalia. He has a way with words.

According to Suggs who is privy to many whispered secrets, players who leave Bill Belichick's gulag immediately call Suggs and tell him how badly they were treated.

Under the circumstances, he is hoping Wes Welker leaves the Patriots and places a Skype call to Terrell to dish the dirt of Tom's rude manners and vocabulary problems.

Suggs called the hatred of the Patriots palpable, sort of like the carbuncle on his brain. Suggs will be the first to tell you he has the carbuncles scraped of his tail-bone every off-season.

Terrell has been in a heated Twitter war with Richard Sherman of the Seattle Seahawks to see who can put more pins into their Tom Brady voodoo doll.

Not that these two he-men play with dolls during the off-season, but Suggs has been crying more than Betsy Wetsy since his team backed into the Super Bowl winner's circle.

Suggs insists that turnabout is fair play. Since the Patriots disrespect him, he thinks everyone needs to disrespect the Patriots. The man never heard of the expression "grace under pressure." He also seems ignorant of winning with modesty.

Suggs calls himself a man with "insider information." This sounds suspiciously like it's time for trading beans for a cow. Suggs is clearly full of beans.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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