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Tuesday, 26 February 2013

image for World wide Welsh celebrate Swansea Capital One Cup Final win
Michael Douglas in the Welsh hillsides (picture by Max Boyce)

Welsh people around the world today reacted with glee as they rejoiced the first ever trophy for Swansea Football Club in their centenary year.

Michael Douglas, an American actor with two first names and no surname, married to actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, a Welsh woman with two surnames (none of them Douglas) interrupted the Oscar Academy Awards to declare a 24 hour after show party in honour of the taffs. Douglas later hired a mini-bus driven by Charlie Sheen which took party-goers to his Hollywood mansion for a welsh-rarebit on toast, washed down with a nice cup of welsh tea.

Shirley Bassey went on stage at the Oscars and cancelled her planned tribute to James Bond, instead singing "Gold Medals - the Welsh with the shiny objects"

Footballer Gareth Bale scored twice in Tottenham Hotspurs 3-2 win over London rivals West Ham, but later stunned the press conference by announcing he had handed in a transfer request and demanded to go back to the mother country so he could 'bloody win a trophy boyo'.

Swansea defeated lower league Bradford City 5-0 in the Final, after defeating Chelsea, Liverpool and Crawley Town enroute to Wembley. Nathan Dyer and Jonathan Guzman both scored twice in the final, however ball boy Charlie Morgan was named Swansea's play-actor of the tournament after his shenanigans in getting Eden Hazard sent off in the semi-final. Douglas remarked the 17 year old chairmans son had a bright future in Hollywood.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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