Written by radiogagger
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Monday, 25 February 2013

image for David Beckham comes out of retirement to play for PSG
Beckham swaps Three Lions and Free pants for baguettes, garlic and onions

Pants model and tattooed lady lookalike David Beckham, 37, has sensationally come out of semi-retirement to play competitive football in the French Super Ligue after five years of playing in the Mickey Mouse Millionaire League in America.

East London born Becks was plying his trade in Los Angelas for the Galaxy Globetrotters once a week, while holding down a second job collecting glasses and bottles from Gordon Ramseys restaurant called Charlie Chans on the LA Strip.

He signed for Paris Saint-Germain on Transfer Deadline Day back on January 31st. After three weeks in a sauna to shed excess weight he was finally ready to make his debut last night for the last 14 minutes against Marseille. The Parisians won 2-0 with Becks breaking sweat to lay on a goal for Zlatan Ibrahmovitch.

Management are confident he can last 25 minutes in the next ligue match.

Joey Barton, playing for the visitors as part of his ASBO rehabilitation, could only stand and stare and curse 'sacron bleur' in a French accent, before stubbing out a cigar in a ball-boys face.

Beckham's place at LA Galaxy is expected to be taken by Paul Gascoigne, on day release from a rehab centre in LA treating him for alcoholism. Gazza, will stand in the centre circle and wait for the ball to be passed to him before he releases it to Robbie Keane.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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