Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 24 February 2013

image for The Yankees Own The Phrase, Baseball's Evil Empire
A photo of Judge Calisto "Speedy" Rigadoon's ruling on the disputed baseball phrase.

NEW YORK CITY - After months of going back and forth in the court of sports law, a New York judge has finally ruled that the sports phrase Baseball's Evil Empire, which is used to describe the Bronx Bombers belongs exclusively to the New York Yankees.

The three word phrase had originally been coined by Boston Red Sox CEO Larry "BoSox" Lucchino back in September of 2002.

BoSox recently told Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that he remembers sitting in his living room while watching an episode of the police drama NYPD Blue and turning to his wife and saying that he had just invented a baseball phrase.

He recalls his wife specifically telling him to wait until a commercial before he revealed it to her.

Chino, as his Great Aunt Bavaria Peachavelli, 77, calls him, told his wife that the phrase he had invented was Baseball's Evil Empire.

She immediately asked him why in the world he would refer to his beloved Red Sox in that manner.

He quickly told her that he was talking about the Sox bitter rivals the New York Yankees.

The next day Chino went downtown and registered the phrase along with his new found company Evil Devil Inc.

He told the Boston sports media that Evil Devil Inc. would use the phrase he had coined and put it on all types of merchandise including caps, socks, bras, condoms, and perfume.

But before he could get his first shipment out he received a seize and desist order from the Yankees organization stating that they owned the phrase and that he had no business using it in order to make tons and tons of money.

Lucchino hired the legal services of attorney Bobby Foonballoon of Biloxi, Mississippi, while the Yankees organization hired the Brooklyn law firm of Fitzowitz, Straydiddle, & Goldenbocker.

SIDENOTE: New York City Judge Calisto "Speedy" Rigadoon ruled in favor of the Yankees organization. The judge informed Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that the fact that he is a New York Yankees season ticket holder had absolutely no bearing on his decision.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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