Written by Ossurworld
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Friday, 15 February 2013

Millionaire owner Tom Werner of the Red Sox read the book by former manager Terry Francona, and his insight into the Red Sox in 2011 in particular.

Werner expressed pleasure that he did not have to buy the book, which would have set him back $20 when the Red Sox sellout streak is about to come to a crashing boring end. You have to save every penny when you have blown millions on ungrateful players.

Not exactly a literary critic, Werner who produced the highly fictional Cosby Show knows a fake when he sees it. As an actor, he plays an owner on television.

Whether it is Moby Dick showing a megalomaniac ship's captain or Gone with the Wind depicting a scalawag's rise and fall, Werner can see the forest from the trees.

Unfortunately for him, he is the one treed by the Francona epic of revenge and sweetness. Werner insists the sexiest Red Sox player he demanded Ben Cherington sign is Vicente Padilla.

The bloodhounds don't bother Werner as he knows that Mickey Spillane won't catch him. Lucchino also did not read the book and won't until the chickens cross the road. He won't take to the bully pulpit again while anyone is looking.

The third victim of the Francona firing squad, John Henry, noted that he only read the passages that related to him.

Out in sunny Phoenix where the new Dodgers are lining up to take potshots at the Red Sox, Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez spared no rod, taking Red Sox owners to the woodshed in a corroboration of Francona's "fiction."

Red Sox Acres will make a hilarious TV series. But who'd play Arnold the Pig?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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