Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 9 February 2013

image for Kevin Garnett To Be The New Charlotte Bobcats Coach
Kevin Garnett is an avid collector of pennies and says his collection numbers a little over 1.3 million coins.

CHARLOTTE - Word from the NBA rumor mill is that Boston Celtic Kevin Garnett will not be traded after all. But the 6-foot-11-inch tall center will however be leaving Boston.

According to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, who broke the story, Garnett is at the top of the list to replace Bobcats Coach Mike Dunlap who could be fired before the Ides of March (March 15).

Bobcats owner Michael Jordan has stated that he is not at all happy with his team's current record of 11-38, which is the worst record of any of the 30 NBA teams.

Currently the Kitty Kats, as Rush Limbaugh calls them, have lost six games in a row.

When Garnett was asked about possibly coaching the Charlotte team he grinned, took a sip from his bottle of Papaya Gatorade, and said that he first heard about the rumor in The Boston Daily Chowder.

He pointed out that if Michael Jackson wants him to coach the Bobcats then he will be more than happy to take the job, which he said has some fantastic benefits, including unlimited use of a Lear Jet and a daily food allowance stipend of $250.

In Other News. GOP political maven Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter has stated that there is no truth to the rumor that she will be moving to Syria in May.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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