Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 25 June 2013

image for Paul Gascoigne On Wagon
Gardner has given Gazza a lot of encouragement to ditch booze

Former Newcastle United, Tottenham Hotspur, Lazio and England midfielder Paul Gascoigne, is rumoured to have given up drinking alcohol after he was spotted on Tyneside on Tuesday on the back of a coal wagon.

Gascoigne, who also played for Boston United and some team in China, has been recovering from the effects of an unhealthy alcohol consumption for as long as anyone can remember.

The likeable Geordie looks to be over the worst of his troubles, however, after he was seen sleeping on the flatbed of the lorry belonging to local coal merchant Y Ayeman. The vehicle was being driven at speed by Gazza's 'former' drinking partner Jimmy Five Bellies Gardner.

It was described by a member of the public as "careering out of control".

The member of the public who did not wish to be identified, told us:

"I don't wish to be identified. It was careering out of control."

Another onlooker, who was looking-on, said:

"Gazza looked a bit doon, but it's nuthen a good bevy wouldn't put right!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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