NFL At Super Bowl XLVII: "The Secondary Sucks, And It Is Your Fault."
Unnamed sources close to NFL scapegoat-finder / Commissioner Roger Goodell says that he will be issuing a statement tomorrow blaming the shitty play of the cornerbacks and safeties for both teams on NFL fans.
"When cornerbacks and safeties were expected to merely break up passes and tackle WRs after a catch, fans couldn't give a shit less about those players," says the Statement, to be releases during ESPN's obligatory 15-hour post-game SportsCenter. "Now all they are looking to do is set themselves up to intercept and --very occasionally-- tackle a Ballcarrier, and the play suffers."
Leading the stink-burgers that stand between an overpaid wide receiver and six points is Eagles cornerback Dominique Rogers-Cromarte, who literally has not tackled a Ballcarrier or broke up a pass in two fucking years.
"I'm supposed to do what, now?" responded DRC.