Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 30 January 2013

image for 49ers Randy Moss Almost Hurts His Arm Patting Himself On His Back
Four U.S. presidents own footballs autographed by Jerry Rice - Cloris Leachman has one autographed by Randy Moss.

NEW ORLEANS - San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Randy Moss was sitting around in the locker room after practice and answered about 70 questions.

The questions ran the gamut regarding everything from what he had for breakfast, to what is his favorite beer, to who would he have preferred Ginger or Mary Ann.

After Moss answered all of the obligatory questions he was asked by Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti where he feels he ranks among the all-time receivers.

Moss did not miss a beat and replied that he is number one. A sudden hush fell over the 49ers locker room as Confetti asked, "You mean you really and truly believe that you are better than the great Jerry Rice?"

The 49ers receiver shot Confetti a look that could have melted a Clydesdale horseshoe.

"Did I stutter my white brutha?" he asked looking right at the SCM writer.

Confetti then proceeded to give Moss some comparative statistics on all kinds of records proving that Rice was by far much better than him.

Moss took a sip from his bottle of Cantaloupe Gatorade and replied, that those were just numbers. He noted that a lot of it has to do with the heart and soul and how one plays the game.

Several reporters stood up and began to leave. Moss asked them why they were leaving. Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily turned and said that it was starting to get kind of deep and he did not have boots on.

Another reporter mumbled that it was amazing that Moss did not hurt his arm patting himself on the back.

As all of the reporters continued to exit out of the locker room, Moss angrily yelled out that the interview was over (duh).

He took three more sips from his Cantaloupe Margarita and replied under his breath, that he is such a damn good football player that he can also play quarterback, punt, and kick.

As Rufus Reno got to the door and was a safe distance away from Moss he turned and hollered out, "Hey Randy, wake up dude. That was one hell of a dream you just had bru-tha."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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