Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 24 January 2013

image for Eden Hazard admits, "I did not kick that boy, I only kicked his balls!"
If a player kicks someones balls it is not a red card, especially ball-boy brats!

Chelsea player, Eden Hazard, after being vilified in today's tabloids after an incident involving a 17 year-old Swansea ball boy, has admitted that he didn't kick the boy, only his balls!

The ball boy purposely rolled all over the ball attempting to waste valuable time for his team and the Belgian super-star was having none of it; so he kicked him in the goolies, ouch!

It appears the boy who is a trainee at Swansea, also admitted that he has been taught in the Academy to roll all over the floor in pain and agony just like senior players do to help his team. He automatically put this modern tactic into action and even lifted his hand asking the ref for an imaginary red card; also common practice on footbal fields these days.

Eden Hazard is refusing to apologise to the boy and the FA and is demanding that the red card is withdrawn because he feels that he didn't kick his balls hard enough and actually missed completely. The TV coverage has also strangely disappeared and was given to Eric Cantona so he can appeal against his "King Fu" kick because he also claims he kicked that Crystal Palace moron in the balls and should never have been banned; qui, qui!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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