Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 24 January 2013

image for Kobe Bryant Is Now Playing The Piano To Relieve The Stress of Losing So Many Games
Kobe says that his favorite hip hop band is Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz. (Photo by Vanessa Bryant).

MEMPHIS - The player-coach of the Los Angeles Lakers, Kobe Bean Bryant, sat dejected in the visiting team locker room as he saw his Tinsel Town team fall for the fourth time in a row 106-93.

And the team putting it to the Hollywood Lakers this time was the Memphis Grizzlies.

Kobe was interviewed by Sports Balls Illustrated Daily's Dottie Bazooka.

The ravishing lovely Dottie sat in the Lakers dressing room looking up at the ceiling during most of the interview, since Bryant and the other L.A. roundballers were pretty much naked.

Miss Bazooka flat out asked El Kobe, as George Lopez and Eva Longoria call him, "What the hell is wrong with the boys in blue and gold?"

Bryant took a sip of his Papaya Gatorade, rolled his eyes, clenched his fist, and replied, "Quien sabe" which is Spanish for "How the hell should I know? Do I look like Nostradamus or what?"

Bazooka giggled and told him that she can just imagine how frustrating it must be for him since every time the Lakers lose he has to look around and place the blame on someone other than the man in the mirror, as Michael Jackson and Bob Dylan both sang in different songs.

Bryant asked Miss Bazooka if she was actually born mean or if she learned it from watching that evil, blonde, bitch Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter on the FOX Network.

The SBID reporter said that she was just pulling his leg. Kobe grinned like the California cat that swallowed the Colorado canary and told her that she was pretty much in the right neighborhood.

He then commented that he was going to give her a scoop. He told her that yes, it's a damn fact that the Lakers have lost 10 of their last 12 games. And it's a freakin' fact that he is the only Laker that is putting 100 percent of his heart and soul into each and every game.

But, he noted, that he, as talentedly gifted as he is, cannot do it all.

He took three sips of his Papaya Margarita and told Miss Bazooka that he has taken up playing the piano to relieve the astounding stress of losing, and losing, and losing.

Bryant then said that he plans to talk to the Lakers owner, Jerry Buss, about possibly having him traded to the San Antonio Spurs, where every single player always gives it 100 percent, and it's not just because if they didn't that Coach Gregg Popovich would make them run 200 laps around the Alamo.

POSTSCRIPT: To view two dozen very sultry photos of Kobe Bryant's very sexy wife Vanessa in a revealing shocking pink bikini swimsuit go to www.vanessabryanthubbahubba.hot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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