Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 19 January 2013

image for Kobe Bryant Visits a Louisiana Voodoo Woman
The infamous voodoo woman from Louisiana, Lottie Jo Lafayette.

LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana - An unnamed member of the Los Angeles Lakers organization said that Kobe Bryant is so tired of losing that he is seriously thinking about issuing fines to his fellow teammates if he feels that they did not give it 110 percent as he does every game.

Bryant apparently did not want that information to get out but everyone knows that there are no secrets in Laker LaLaLand.

The Lakers were handed their 22nd defeat of the year (99-90) at the hands of LeBron James and his sizzling Miami Heat team.

Jack Nicholson's favorite team is now 17-22 and is playing far below .500 ball at .436.

According to iRumors Kobe has finally gotten back together with his wife Vanessa after she had filed divorce papers on his Laker butt.

Mrs. Bryant allegedly told her hair stylist FuFi Fondue that her husband recently traveled down to Lake Charles, Louisiana, to visit the world's foremost voodoo woman Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette.

Madam Lafayette is infamous throughout the nation for brewing up potions that put curses on individuals, businesses, teams, or politicians.

She claims that the reason why Mitt "The Flip Flopper" Romney lost the presidential election was because of a curse she put on him that was requested by Nancy Pelosi.

Madam Lafayette also takes credit for Britney Spears not returning to X-Factor. When asked who requested that curse, she smiled as she took a drink from her Hurricane glass and simply said, "I will only say that her initials are P.A."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Abel and I both agree that P.A. is most likely Paula Abdul.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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