Written by Ossurworld
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Friday, 18 January 2013

Only now can the shocking truth be revealed. Manti Te'o is a creation of social media. He does not really exist. His play for Notre Dame has been revealed as a giant Photoshop hoax. Most of his game appearances have been labeled photo bombs.

CIA speculation centers on a boiler room in Afghanistan as the place where Te'o was invented by terrorists trying to undermine the American sports business.

An impersonator attended the Heismann Award ceremony and gave a fair to middling account of a Notre Dame football player.

The University of Notre Dame is still trying to determine if there is some evidence that Manti Te'o is a case of identity theft. Photos of Manti appear to belong to a Tour De France bicyclist who has been banned for doping-- and making everyone look like a dope.

Manti released a Twitter statement, telling the world that his girlfriend really is an online creation named Rosie Palmer.

Te'o insists that God would not allow him to have a real girlfriend, and he was forced to make one out of whole cloth.

"I saw her regularly," he told Oprah Winfrey by phone. "She was inflatable and kept in my closet." At this point, no one can locate anyone named Manti Te'o-or at least anyone who admits he is the real Manti.

No one has actually held a real conversation with Manti Te'o as he speaks only to God in private. Many believe the hoax can be traced back to Andy Warhol who used to send out an army of faux Andys to meet the public in laconic fashion.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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