Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 17 January 2013

Boston's Mayor Thomas Menino may be signing a contract to be the new voice of the New England Patriots.

As if to baptize the Patriots as they face the black bird team named after Poe's Raven, not the Maltese Falcons.

While wearing #75, the jersey of Vince Wilfork, Mayor Menino cited this great defensive player whom he called Vince Willcock.

Last year to help bless the Patriots and send them into battle, Mayor Menino talked out of his mealy mouth by lauding Wes Weckler and Rob Grabowski.

The mangled names won Mumbles Menino newfound infamy, but did nothing to improve his diction as this week's Malaproprism indicates.

Worse yet, and cursed yet again, the Mayor who had singled out the notorious Grabowski last year tried to re-pronounce the name using an easier sobriquet.

Alas, the best laid and enunciated plans of mice and men often get caught in the media trap. Yes, Mayor Menino did it again. He hit the jackpot off poor Rob Gronkowski as he sat in a hospital recovering from his second arm break in two months.

Menino did not cut a break for Gronk.

Mayor Menino broke more bones for the Patriot star when he lauded "Gonk." For good measure, he repeated the name "Gonk" a second time to indicate how sure he was of the Patriot favorite.

Next time we suggest that Mayor Menino put the Wilfork jersey on backwards so he can see the name and remember it.

Of course, we are too optimistic. If Menino looked into the mirror, the name would be backwards-and we cringe over what Menino might read off his own chest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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