Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 8 January 2013

image for The Lakers Are Hit With Injuries: If Kobe Gets Hurt - They're The Washington Wizards
The infamous Louisiana voodoo woman Lottie Jo Lafayette. (Photo courtesy of Ellen DeGeneres).

LOS ANGELES - The word on the streets of LaLaLand is that a disgruntled ex-Laker player went down to Lake Charles, Louisiana, and paid the world's most infamous voodoo woman Lottie Jo Lafayette to put a magic curse on the Lakers.

And apparently it is working since the boys from Tinsel Town currently have a 15-19 record.

Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily said that Lakers owner Jerry Buss needs to hire Madam Lafayette and pay her twice the amount of money she was paid to brew up the curse to undo it.

Meanwhile with Pau Gasol, Dwight Howard, and Jordan Hill already out with injuries many of the Laker fans have already chewed down their fingernails to where there isn't much left.

One long time Laker fan Ashwin F. Cobbclogger, 58, remarked that the other day, during one of the games, he actually saw Jack Nicholson get physically sick while sitting in his front row seat.

Cobbclogger said that with the Lakers down 13 points in the last quarter he heard the movie star say, "Dammit! I pay a lot of freakin money for my front row season seat and if the team doesn't get better I may just ask that my season payment be prorated so I can go buy some damn lottery tickets."

Another devoted Laker fan Lurleen Cindy Widdleweiser, 37, recently said that Kobe Bryant is starting to look like the Lone Ranger out there.

Ms. Widdleweiser did point out that Kobe AKA "The Coach" is in paradise in a way since, due to all of the injuries, he is getting to take over 70 shots per game.

Rufus Reno stated that if Kobe should happen to get hurt, the Lakers will become the Washington Wizards of the West.

SIDENOTE: The Wizards have the worst won-loss record in the entire NBA at 5-28.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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