Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 28 December 2012

image for Two Reasons Why The Brooklyn Nets Fired Coach Avery Johnson
Coach Johnson says he will always cherish a basketball that was autographed and given to him by Vice President Joe Biden.

BROOKLYN - Avery Johnson, who was in the third year of a $12 million contract with the Brooklyn Nets, has been told to hit the road.

The coach who got the nickname of the Little General when he played point guard with the San Antonio Spurs first learned he had been fired from Galileo Gazettina, 51, one of the hot dog vendors at Barclays Center, home of the Nets.

Gazettina, told sports reporters that he asked Johnson what he was going to do now that he had been terminated as the Brooklyn coach.

Coach Johnson, 47, got a shocked look on his face and replied that he had not heard that he had been fired.

The vendor, who has worked as a hot dog vendor in every professional sport, became very pale and remarked, "Oops, sorry coach, my bad."

Johnson later met with Nets General Manager Billy "King" King, who told him that he had in fact been let go.

When Avery asked why he had been told by an NBA hot dog vendor instead of by him, King simply said that Galileo has tremendous hearing and he must have overheard him and a couple of Nets executives talking about their decision in the main executive board room.

The general manager assured Johnson that Mr. Gazettina had yelled his last "Hey get jur hot dogs here, hear!" at Barclays Center.

When Avery questioned why he was being let go, King disclosed that it was due to two reasons.

One, the team was only playing .500 ball at 14-14 and two, several of the Nets players had complained that they could not understand him because he talked too fast.

He pointed out that Deron Williams (#8), the all-star point guard had said that lots of times during the games Coach Johnson would yell out "Shoot the ball Deron!" but it would sound like "Pass the ball Deron!"

And Nets forward Gerald Wallace (#45) noted that right before the team would break from a time out, Coach Avery would holler out "Okay fellas, on five, 1,2,3, gonads!" meaning to actually say, "Okay fellas, on three, 1,2,3, go Nets!"

SIDENOTE: A very disappointed Avery Johnson said that he will return to his home in New Orleans and think about possibly appearing on next season's edition of Dancing With The Stars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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