Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 24 December 2012

image for The Real Reason The Dallas Mavericks Waived Derek Fisher
Derek Fisher says his basketball playing days are over. (Photo courtesy of Manu Ginobili).

DALLAS - Derek Fisher, who has five NBA Championship rings, has been waived by the Dallas Mavericks.

The 38-year-old veteran was apparently told by team owner Mark "Money Boy" Cuban that a deal was in the works where he was going to be traded to the Washington Wizards.

According to Sports Balls Illustrated Daily's Rufus Reno, Fisher exploded at that notion and hollered out that the Wizards are the worst team in the entire NBA with a won-loss record of 3-22.

He flat out told Cuban that there was no way he would go to Washington D.C., which he described as being a lot like Green Bay, Wisconsin, due to the winter temperatures which can get down to 27 below 0.

Cuban informed him that he had Washington confused with Buffalo, New York where it gets so cold that duck quacks actually freeze in the air.

Fisher said that he would rather get traded to a really good team like the Oklahoma City Thunder (21-5), or the Los Angeles Clippers (21-6), or the San Antonio Spurs (21-8).

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Duhhh.]

He also pointed out that he would not feel right playing for a team that is named the Wizards due to the Ku Klux Klan connotations, as in the Grand Exalted Wizard of The Imperial Order of The White Bougainvillea.

Cuban started giggling so hard he almost dropped the Fried Twinkie he was munching on in his office.

He pointed out that the Washington Wizards were not named after the KKK, but after the popular air freshener, Wizard.

Fisher reportedly then told Cuban that if he trades him to Washington he will call a press conference and provide the sports media with recent photos taken at one of his (Cuban's) weekly pole dancing club sojourns showing a pole dancer sitting on his lap and one sitting on his head.

SIDENOTE: Cuban dropped the Fried Twinkie on the floor and decided that in the interest of making Fisher happy, he would go ahead and waive him instead of trading him to the Wizards.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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