Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 20 December 2012

When we heard commentators calling the Patriots loss to the 49ers heartbreaking, we nearly cracked a rib laughing.

The outrageous loss may inspire many feelings for fans of Brady and Belichick, but heartbroken is not the usual reaction to these games that set up the playoff menu.

The Patriots team may need to better defeat NFL meat on the journey to find the championship ring. The latest animule that may impede the charmed Pats will be a Jaguar.

If the Patriots are dead set on breaking hearts, they will have a chance with the Jaguars as December playoff slots are finally determined.

The Patriots always make lemonade when the slot machine gives them three lemons. This Sunday as the season of giving reaches its crescendo, the Patriots hope to make fillet mignon of the Jaguars.

If the Jaguars prove to be hot dogs to the Patriots, you know the post-season will be short-lived for the New England team.

If the game becomes troublesome, the Patriots may well be on a crying Jag well into the off-season.

"Lions, Tigers, and Bears, oh, my!"

Those New England Patriots are having a dangerous trip down the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City Super Bowl this season.

Every third-rate team Belichick faces seems to have Bart Starr and Joe Montana at quarterback.

We hope the Patriots will meet only a cowardly lion or two among the Jaguars. If they face a fearful and toothless Jaguar, perhaps their fate will be more kind to the bettors.

Experts and insiders have already noted that the Jaguars are defanged, declawed, and de mess of the de NFL. Let's hope the Patriots don't spill the eggnog when they make a Super Bowl Christmas toast.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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