Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 14 December 2012

image for Kobe Bryant Begs Magic Johnson For Advice
Due to the lowly play of the Los Angeles Lakers, an official Lakers ball has dropped in price by 600 percent.

LOS ANGELES - This past summer, on paper at least, the Los Angeles Lakers were supposed to have been sitting at 22-0 right now, but instead they hold a below .500 record of 9-13.

And Kobe Bean Bryant, the star of the Lakers, and according to him, the heart and soul, the liver, the stomach, the brains, and the tonsils is extremely disappointed and depressed at the lowly play of his team.

Even the number one Lakers fan Jack Nicholson has stated to his fellow front row partner, Lou "Scrubby" Adler that at times he truly believes that even the Slippery Rock Rockets college basketball team could beat the Lakers.

Kobe, is kind of the Lindsay Lohan of Basketball in that he seems to always try and put the blame for any shortcomings on someone else.

LiLo Lohan is forever blaming her mother and her father, along with her ex-lesbianite fianceƩ Samantha "Bones" Ronson.

Where Bryant is concerned there is no shortage of people to blame from teammates Pau Gasol, and Dwight Howard, to new Head Coach Mike D'Antoni, to the Laker Girls cheerleaders and even the hot dog, cotton candy, and beer vendors.

According to Sports Balls Illustrated Daily's Rufus Reno, Kobe called up former Laker great Magic Johnson and begged him for his advice.

Johnson, who does not beat around the bush simply told Kobe to stop being a little ball-hogging diva and pass the damn ball to his teammates once in a while.

Magic also let him know that he needs to stop his constant prima donna whining because it has really gotten as old as as some of Joan "The Moan" Rivers shoes.

SIDENOTE: Magic Johnson expressed to Kobe that if he is really serious about trying to get back on the winning track that he needs to stop chasing everything he sees in a skirt. Kobe replied that he already started doing that last Tuesday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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