Written by Paxton Quigley
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Wednesday, 5 December 2012

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This Week's Chelsea Manager John Terry

In an attempt to instil some sanity back into his ailing football club's affairs, the League Managers Association has made an astonishing offer to Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich. The association has offered the services of all its members on a month-by-month rotating schedule so that in future Mr. Abramovich will not feel it necessary to dispense with the services of any manager who dares to lose a match.

At a hastily convened press conference LMA spokesman, Mr. Mike Turgid was effusive in his praise for the Chelsea owner.

"Mr. Abramovich is giving this serious consideration as he's obviously feeling the pressure of finding two new managers himself every football season. He's quite taken by the idea of, for example, George Graham managing in January, followed by perhaps Glenn Hoddle for February and then in March Kevin Keegan. KK as we call him is perfect for this role as he has always been the one to know when it's time to walk away.

"Having our has beens...erm I mean members acting in this way will ease the pressure and mean that Mr. Abramovich won't have the humiliation of Pep Guardiola telling him to stuff his job sooner or later. Unfortunately there is a slight hitch to overcome as we couldn't help with Mr. Abramovich's favoured candidates, Sir Alf Ramsey, Sir Walter Winterbottom and Bill Shankly OBE as they've all moved on."

Nobody was available for comment from Chelsea football club.

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